Pondering Kids...

September 18th, 2006 at 01:47 pm

Lately kids have been on my mind a lot. DH and are confirmed fence-sitters. We've been playing "maybe next year" since 2002.

I just can't quite make myself jump on this one. We joke that we can either have kids or be independently wealthy. Of course I do understand that it's perfectly possible to raise kids frugally and still have quite a bit to go around, but I'd be lying if I said the economic aspects of the decision don't concern me.

From a purely economic standpoint, kids are a disaster! They're horridly costly and promise almost no financial return. Nothing sends ice down my veins like thinking about baby supplies, piano lessons, soccer fees, braces, and, of course, the $300 a month per child it will cost to fund 75% of college costs for our state school.

And all of that, of course, assumes the child is healthy and has a reasonably normal childhood. What about all of the "what ifs"?

I worry about how vulnerable having a child would leave me. DH is diabetic and while his health is OK at the moment we haven't been able to get life insurance on him. We've only got the paltry coverage offered by his job. I read that having a child is the single greatest predictor that a woman will end up in poverty. I grew up with a single mom. I'm sure not eager to sign on for the experience!

I wonder if I would continue working. I wonder if I would miss working if I quit. What I accomplish at work is something I respect about myself. Would I miss having a challenging and respected job? Would I miss bringing in a paycheck?

What if I don't like the kid? What if I don't particularly like being a parent? What if we get home from the hospital and I start wondering when the kid's real parents are going to pick him up and take him home so I can get back to my life?

What if, what if, what if?

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Pondering Kids...”

LuxLiving Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 02:02 pm

I don't know how 20 somethingish you are...closer to the teens or thirties, but I was well on to near 30ish before the desire for children kicked in. Before that I was dead set against them. You may have a similar biological clock...maybe it wont' ever kick in and that is more than okay!!

If you aren't certain that it's something you both want to do, I'd certainly keep riding that fence until you're sure.
contrary1 Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 02:38 pm

I'd vote for not having any.............. Since I'm a foster parent recruiter here, I'd be remiss if I didn't suggest you getting a foster license and taking in a couple kids that way. You can take kids full time, or keep them just for respite type care (a weekend a month perhaps).

This would be a great way to help others as well as sort of Practice Parenting, to see if it is something you truly like.
Carolina Bound Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 04:37 pm

I think if you have to ponder about whether you want kids, you shouldn't have them. Not yet, anyway! Wait until you truly want them. Then it's such a joy.
donna jean Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 06:07 pm

I've been on the fence for many years except that I know I want more kids. But every time I think about the price tag, I panic. Recently, we had a couple of days where we thought we may have crossed that line; I ran the numbers and just freaked. All the dreams of paying off all our debt and buying a house suddenly vanished. Plus, the new job I start tomorrow would be thrown in flux if I came up needing time off right away. Yes, you can do both, but it is hard to look at finances and feel excited. I kinda worry if I'll ever be able to cross that line since I know just how hard we're working for the few things we have now.
sarah Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 06:37 pm

I traded kids for a phd and haven't looked back. Of course the phd was as expensive as a child.
sarah Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 06:37 pm

I traded kids for a phd and haven't looked back. Of course the phd was as expensive as a child.
baselle Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 08:25 pm

I didn't have kids and neither did sister. Never had the urge. I'm more than happy to support society and civilization in other ways, I guess. My only advice is to have kids if you want to have kids, not because other people want you to have kids.
Broken Arrow Says:
September 18th, 2006 at 09:20 pm

Wow, you're the first woman I've ever heard that actually said kids can be a financial disaster! Prior to that, my ex would swear to me that women never looked at it that way, but anyways....
I agree that if you have any doubts whatsoever, please just wait.
ima saver Says:
September 19th, 2006 at 07:42 am

Well, I adopted children and if I had it to do all over again, I would not have adopted them. I think you should certainly wait!

So Now What?

Learning as I go...

Pondering Kids...

9 Responses to “Pondering Kids...”

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